What It Takes

In 2012, I've had the pleasure of working with all of my returning clients and many new clients. I've had the fortune of training people with varied goals. I've been blessed.

A new client said to me recently, “I don't care how things taste, I'll eat the food that will get me to my goal.”

At that moment, I knew that I had a client who was going to reach his goals.

I recognized myself in him.

He was committed to his goal. He was going to reach his goal NO MATTER WHAT.

In four and a half weeks, he's reached a goal of fitting in his unbutton-able pants more quickly than anticipated.

Wow.

I'm totally impressed, and I'm pretty sure he is too.

He has a few more goals he's set for himself and I know that he'll reach those too.

Through nutritional education, perseverance and work ethic, he's reached every goal he's set to date.

It's exciting to watch!

I've done a lot of thinking about the subject of setting goals and achieving them. In 2012, I set some pretty lofty goals and achieved more than expected. I've wondered how I did this. I've done hours of soul searching (okay, overly dramatic here for purposes of gaining your undivided attention) for my next book project and for my baker's dozen whole-health-wellness modules.

I've wondered how I could have achieved high aspirations, since many years ago, I was something of an underachiever.

The conclusion I've come to after many hours of thought and research is this: I committed.

What?

I committed to achieving a goal, and never took my eye off the attainment of the end result.

My most proud moment in 2012 came when I stepped nervously on a scale in Las Vegas, NV and weighed 131.34 pounds. For those of you not used to the crazy food/weight world of powerlifters, on August 12^th, 2012, I committed to getting to a new weight class for my next powerlifting meet in 10 weeks. That morning, my scales read 149 lbs, yet I made a decision I was going to get to 132 NO MATTER WHAT. I had ten weeks to reach my goal. Ten weeks that included a lot of opportunities to eat badly and drink poorly and to not train properly. But, because I committed, I planned to outwit any obstacle. Fail to plan, plan to fail. I came up with a plan A, B AND C.

When I stepped on those scales on October 18th , and had lost nineteen pounds, it was one of of the proudest moments of the year.

I see that commitment it in my client.

He's going to attain his goal, no matter what.

Success breeds success and he's on his way to long term success in whole-health-wellness.

I'm excited for him as he continues his journey and proud of him too!

What's next?

2013!

That's right...a whole NEW YEAR full of endless possibilities for each of us!

T-Day Plan

Thanksgiving is coming and I'm panicked about all the food that will surround me. Even now, everywhere I turn, there's a whopper-with-cheese opportunity (whoppertunity) to eat outside the lines.

As T-Day approaches, I have a plan of action.

Fail to plan...plan to fail...

I will bring a base salad to my mom's house with me.

Nothing fancy...just my normal salad base (usually bagged salad 50/50 mix).

I will make a saladification out of what is on the table.

My salad greens base.

Turkey.

Cut up baked sweet potatoes.

Peas.

Pecans.

Salad Dressing, any variety, lightly drizzled.

As someone who recently lost 18 lbs in 10 weeks to make a new lower weight class, I would really hate to gain it all back just to have to lose it all again the next time I compete. If I absolutely HAD to watch what I ate on T-giving, this saladification is what I'd eat in a “medium to high” carb cycling day.

I've come to the conclusion that I have two different choices on the Big Thursday.

1) I will either treat the day like an all out splurge and “go for anything and everything” on the table, or 2) I will saladify the things I CAN eat that will give me the flavor of Thanksgiving without too many calories or carbs.

Both choices have advantages and disadvantages.

Total free-for-all splurging will instantly make me feel great and satisfy my craving to be like the others at my table. I'll be able to eat and eat and eat food that is sweet. Awesome!...but, then, I'll feel tired. Then I'll get the urge to splurge again thanks to those pesky after-carb cravings.

Eating within the lines via saladifcation will give me the greatest sense of satisfaction that I ate food for fuel and will have the best chance to keep my weight at 136. It'll give me the sense of satisfaction that I made it through yet another difficult social setting in which I made a good eating decision. But, it's tough going when everyone around you is eating “normally” for Thanksgiving and you aren't.

If I absolutely HAD to weigh 132 on January 1^st, I'd make the correct decision, but my next competition perhaps isn't until June. This is just another test of my willpower to remain black dress ready.

In the end, it's MY choice...as it will be your choice this Thursday. I'll be interested to see what my readers chose to do...keep me posted and have a HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Take Comfort (Not To Be Confused With™ Comfort Foods)

“Get comfortable with uncertainty”, I said to her knowingly. My friend felt anxious about her life's great unknown “coming soon to events near you.” I assured her that we all feel anxious about the future. In fact, many of us feel that way every day. I do. Life is uncertain. Really? Well, I could step out of the bathtub and have a major accident slipping in my bathroom or I could get in a tin-can with wings and fly half-way across the world and arrive a few minutes earlier than the scheduled itinerary. Life's a daily crap-shoot. It's uncertain. It's the nature of living. Do you know what we also need to get comfortable feeling? Wait for it...it's another noun...starts with an “A”... That's right. Get comfortable with adversity. In life, we all have to deal with adversity. No matter how much it looks like things are easier for someone else, they probably aren't as easy as they look. Good stuff and bad stuff happens to everyone...not just YOU! But the beautiful thing in our uncertain and sometimes adverse life is that we have a CHOICE about how we handle adversity. We can choose to revel in it and wear it like a potato sack, or ignore it and move past it without it ever slipping it on our bodies. We can choose to push forward until we break free from those unpleasant feelings/occurrences. I know that when you're in the middle of adversity, you just need to get out of it. You probably scramble, scratch and claw to get past it. That's okay. When in the vortex of adversity, survival instinct usually does and should kick in. But, once out of adverse circumstances, you will have an option to chose how you react to your PAST circumstances. You decide whether you are going to use that adversity to pump you up or push you down. I hope you chose to allow yourself to get to a better place in your emotional life by way of the difficulties you experienced. If everything was easy, I honestly don't think we could learn and grow. Some of my best epiphanies have come from the difficult situations I have encountered and conquered. You're not in this game of uncertainty or adversity alone. We all feel have those feelings at some point every day. (I'm not exaggerating...I live in the DC metro area and every time I drive down the street, I encounter both of those nouns.) Reach out to others when in need and start enjoying all that crazy fun uncertainty! Move past the emotional turmoil that adversity hands you and chose to be better because of it. We're given one life...make the most of it :-)

May-day May-day!

Have you ever been so overwhelmed you didn't know what to do?

 You kept trying to fix problems as they arose, but they cropped up more quickly than you could take action?

 Well, I have.

 Need I say, "not a pleasant experience"?

 As a recovering worry-wart, I attempt to let things "slide". I have found dread to be far more draining than the dreaded.

 However, for a while in the recent past, the dreaded was actually worse than the dread.

 I am not sure how seemingly little things add up to "too much", but somehow synergistically, they do. Voila~a tipping point is reached.

 The sad part was that my entire family appeared to reach the tipping point at precisely the same time.

 Things were unraveling, and not one of us knew how to make things better.

 So, Jim and I reached out to someone.

It actually felt melodramatic and our emotions were on heightened alert.

We were desperate.

 But, then something magical happened.

 We sat down with the person to whom we reached out.

 And...

 They listened.

 Did you HEAR me?

 THEY LISTENED.

 A (too) rare trait in this time and age of hustle and bustle. They sat across from the two of us espousing our emotions and they listened.

 And then...

 They affected change.

 They helped us.

 What a relief.

 We gave our problems to someone else, they listened, and they helped us.

 I can't tell you how relieved we felt after that meeting. It was as if the weight of the world just slipped off of our shoulders. Everything seemed brighter and full of joy. 

My messages here are powerful ones:

 When you can no longer help yourself, ask for help.

 and

 If someone asks you for help, listen and attempt to affect change for them.

 I assure you, the listening to and answering of my May-day 2012 has been a true blessing and I can't thank the "true listener" enough.

10 and 2 = High Noon

A whimsical silly post is what's in store this month. It's all that I have "in me". I recently heard or read that you should only blog when you have something to say and/or when the spirit moves you. Although I find myself in the predicament that Casper has not Whispered Down the Lane; I didn't want a month to go by without writing something. So, I'll share something that happened this

month when I was with my teenage son and his friends. I do this, because I find the scenario amusing. I picked them up for a drive to a Lacrosse game in Maryland. There were 4 boys (all approximately 15 years old) and me (approximately 46 years old). I have found that some teens like to talk and some do not. I attempted to make conversation talking nonsense...it's what I do best. I said to them..."please do not tell your parents that I don't drive at 10 and 2". I was surprised that they heard me talk and that they all knew what I was talking about. Sometimes, you just need to drop a few words and see how everyone sound bytes the conversation after that. That's when the animated conversation began. Nearing the age of driving, they were all FULLY aware of "10 and 2". They were also fully aware (and I was not) that it is no longer recommended to drive at "10 and 2". According to them, driving is properly taught at "8 and 4". What? I can't believe that...is everyone taught to drive a fire truck now? I admit to driving at (you say) Midnight (I say High Noon). One hand on the wheel at the top. I think that I have always driven like this. It's more comfortable. But, these points are not important right now mainly because there are no points in a whimsical post. What transpired on the way home is when the real magic began. My son and I talked and laughed about High Noon driving. We talked about talking. We talked about not talking. And then he said something really nice to me. "Mom, you think and act more like a teenager than we teenagers."... (You say) Egads (I say, what a compliment!) I see that my inner teen is still intact...any time of the day...and for that, I am really proud! Though I have legally been an "adult" for 28 years (nearly 29 years), it hasn't worn me down and I can still think young enough to be fun. So, I guess it's like a variation on the size adage: that it's not (your) age that counts but what you do with it. If there is any point to this blog (and there really is not) it would be to get in touch with your inner teen and you'll find yourself having alot of fun!

"Today" Is Yesterday's Tomorrow

(Two years plus one day ago) Today I made a big change.







I took the time to come out "here" and blog.






Today I have two years and one day of experience in blogging.






Those are the not the primary differences in the two years that have passed.






In these last two years, I've learned much. I've gained confidence.  I've grown personally and professionally.  There is nothing in this last year that I'd erase; even the "bad stuff".  I've found that "bad stuff" helps me grow more than the good stuff, especially when I am on the other side of "yuk".



Though the second year of life is often associated with the "terrible twos",  I don't plan to "yes, no, I don't know" in this year's blogs.  My second year of blogging, no matter how sparsely spaced, will be full of decisive opinions.  I am two years older and more confident than the day I wrote my first blog.



In this  last year, I have been honored to watch beloved family members, friends and clients grow physically and emotionally.  I have been blessed with wonderful people in my life; and for these things I am truly thankful.





I am glad that you come along this blogging journey with me and I appreciate every minute that you spend reading my philosophies on living life to the fullest.





In this next year, I have big plans for myself, my family and my clients. Today is a great day, but next year's today will be even better...of that I am positive ;-)

Questions from my Husband...

 “Which Are You?”, he asked.



“Nutrition Consultant? Personal Trainer? Motivational Coach? Pick one and become the best possible expert at that.”

“I don't wanna pick ONE. I can't”,  I said.


Those annoying and probing questions fortuitously shaped the next few years of my quest to become a fitness expert.


In the trifecta of weight loss, particularly fat loss, I needed to comprehend and convey all three.   It was (and still  is) the only way to set my clients up for success.



I see fat loss as a three step process ~ each step is an interwoven and integral piece of the process.



Mindset.



Nutrition.



Exercise.



Yes, All Three!



Mindset~In fat loss, you must first be ready and willing to push through any adversity that you may find along your way.  Often the fear of losing weight has us sabotaging our "best made plans".  Mind over matter is the only way to push past that sticky point and any other arising problems that stand in the way of you getting to your goal.



Nutrition~To maximize fat loss, you must eat correctly and you must eat “within the lines” 90% of the time. This means 6 small meals per day x 7 days=42 meals per week. You can eat 10% cheat meals (a.k.a-outside the lines); At 42 "meals"  that's only eating 4 cheats per week.  Make em big cheats because a skipped meal is considered a cheat.



Exercise~You must exercise in a fat burning way. Straight cardio routines are not going to get you to your goal, so push that outdated fitness theory out of your mind.   In order to burn fat, you must build muscle.  Strength training two to three times per week and doing an interval-cardio styled workouts two to three times a week will have you  fat-free in no time!



These are the universal rules of fat loss, successful weight management and an overall healthy life.



So, you see Mister, I couldn't pick just ONE and stick with it.



I'll continue to concentrate on being a  masterful expert at all three ;-) 


"What's that?  Write a book on what I learned?" 


"Huh.  Now maybe, just maybe, you have a good idea there!"

The New You Can't Weight in 2012!

Hello Readers!

Newer to writing I am., but age old message I bring. Time for a New Year. Auld Lang Syne. Out with the old, (Th)in with the New. Time for a NEW YOU! I have some suggestions to help you to start 2012 right:

1) Love yourself. Love yourself at your current weight. Self loathe is not a positive emotion and can hold you back from your ultimate goal. See yourself at your desired weight. To help you do this go to the website www.weightmirror.com

2) Don't DIE-t. Weight loss does not work in the long term. Instead, look at the food you eat as a fuel that your body needs. Look at eating as a lifestyle. Make it a game to see what fuel your body needs for the activity it is doing.

3) Nutrition is primary, Nutrition is primary. Exercise is a nose finish secondary. Investigate the “clean eating” philosophy. Basically, eat what comes from mother nature. If you can envision it as a natural source, you can eat it. If it is processed, keep it off your palate. Example-white bread vs. whole wheat bread. Whole wheat bread is the better choice because the white bread was processed to become white. One little known fact is that even food labels stating “no trans fat” may be a product that contains trans fat. This is because the item has less than .5 grams of trans fat and the manufacturer can claim “no trans fat” . To circumvent this, look at the list of ingredients. If the words “hydrogenated” or “partially hydrogenated” are on the label, it has trans fat. Avoid foods with any trans fat.

4) Seek out a personal trainer. This isn't necessary for everyone, but if you want to lose fat or learn how to exercise, I think that this should be a priority. Think about it. In the past, you may have purchased a lot of weight loss books that became shelf-help instead of self-help books. That is a lot of wasted money. Do yourself a favor, set yourself up for success. Bring in an expert who can guide you through the process of proper exercise and nutrition for your goals. I do believe that if you invest in yourself and your well-being, it motivates you and inspires you to continue to live a healthy lifestyle. Exercise does not have to be awful. I think that a good trainer is imperative to everyday health and happiness. Look for a certified trainer who incorporates corrective exercises in their exercise program.

5) Finally, some “tips” that everyone likes to see in these columns-I'll call these ”fat loss” tidbits. These tips do not work in a vacuum (see item 3 above), but, together with proper nutrition and exercise, they will help! ***

+ Eat multiple meals (at least 6) per day. Have a protein source at each meal.
+ Reduce Carb Intake.
+ Do Interval training combined with resistance training.
+ Add Omega 3 (cold water fish) and Omega 6 (nuts and seeds) to your diet.

6) If you fall down and miss a day of exercise, eat junk, don't rest or do something destructive on the the “New You Plan”, refer to item 1 above). Forgive yourself and move on. Don't give up!

Laura Clancy is a NPTI Certified Personal Trainer and Certified Nutritional Consultant who lives in Arlington, VA. She is currently a member of the prestigious Coaching Group of Results Fitness in Santa Clarita Valley, CA. She can be reached at jaclancy@aol.com or 703)209-3085. ***Always consult a physician before beginning a diet and exercise program.

I Went Back to Mayberry

(disclosure~written May 2010)

I went back to Mayberry this weekend.


I did not see Andy, Barney, Opie or even the beloved Aunt Bee.


I saw Lisa, Leslie, Chris, Sarah, Anna, Liz, Tim, Georgia, Ed, Stephanie, Stan the man, Carol, Liz, Scott and David. We ran/walked a 5 k in memory of our lost classmate, Susie. I saw her wonderful parents and her sisters.

For reunions or other related events we always gather in the town I will call the 'burg. It has become my co-ordinate 00. It is my Mayberry.


I always love going back to my Mayberry.

It recharges me.


It centers me.

It grows me.

I enjoy the drive down there. It is a moderately quiet 2 1/2-3 hour drive. I play eighties hits on the radio and pretend that I am cool and 22.


I anticipate the laughter I will have with a classmate over shared memories.

I probably smile the entire 150 miles.

These weekends are like three idioms in one for me. They are 1) a piece of cake, 2) selling like hotcakes and 3) icing on the cake.


Basically, for me, this semi-annual going “home” is like a sweet delicious processed carb. One that won't make me fat with weight, but burst at the seams with happiness and fulfillment.


I have heard a few past classmates who still live there lament that they “never left”. As if they just happened to stay. I disagree, they chose to live there, and they chose to live in a place where home and heart really do seem to be one and the same.


These good friends stayed and in my fortune they have kept the traditional 'burg the way it really is supposed to be...full of them! They should be proud and happy to have lived their lives there. They stayed at the foundation where I often long to be. They are grounded.

I tell them, truthfully, that I envy them. What bliss to stay in a place so warm and familiar. To “run into” each other and be at arm's length to another classmate.

That is over-simplifying their lives, but it's the idyllic way that I see living in that town. I know that they have had the good, the bad and the ugly that we all experience in a large city or a small town. But, somehow, life seems far more normal and nice there than in oft- icy Northern Virginia.

The 'burg is not at all like it was when I left it 27 years ago. NOT AT ALL.  

 My tact?  

 I just ignore that it's not the same and plan events at our past local haunts. For me, the “New Town” doesn't exist (okay, I was coerced to go there late Saturday night and to my chagrin, I thoroughly enjoyed my time there.) But, it didn't have the feel of the Green Leaf, Sals or the Blue Rose.

I didn't want to see the town as it is now. I wanted the feeling I had when I was 13 or 18.

Everyone should take time out to get in touch with their inner teen (except of course, teenagers who are trying like hell to not be a teen). It is a gift that they can give themselves; one that most adults don't realize is such a powerful experience.

Driving home, exhausted, exulted and recharged, I heard the song Rumors by the Timex Social Club. 'Memba that song? Some words from that wonderfully wicked song are: “How do rumors get started, they're started by the jealous people and They get mad seein' somethin' they had and somebody else is holdin'.....Look at all these rumors surroundin' me every day I just need some time, some time to get away from From all these rumors, I can't take it no more ….Hear the one about Michael, some say he must be gay I try to argue, but they said if he was straight he wouldn't move that way......”


Perhaps my friends have lived wonderful and productive lives in a town sometimes full of hateful gossip and whisperings and maybe that was what was too difficult to deal with. Maybe the town felt too intrusive for those living there. I still come back to this ~ I would trade my (often) loneliness in NOVA for that intrusiveness many times...


I thought about everyone in my class and everyone from the 'burg that I knew. Any one of us may have been the center of some of those rumors over the last 27 years. Even those of us that moved away. No matter what the rumor, it didn't matter. I loved them all and loved being one of them. 

I loved every quick moving moment I spent there with very special people. I guess it proves that in the end......

You can take the girl out of Mayberry, but you can't take the Mayberry out of the woman (I have become).

J.A.A.P

You an take the Accountant outta her job title, but you can't take the humor outta the Accountant

I have HAVE have to write this.

Albeit short.

Many years ago, in a lifetime, far far away, I was an accountant. I dreamed of writing books about Auspicious Auditors, Flirtatious Financiers, and Bodacious Beancounters.

This may be in part because I am a great lover of alliteration, but also is because I wanted to shed favorable light on those lovable accountant types.

I worked in a large CPA firm, and those accountants were funny. After my necessary two year stint in a CPA firm, I went into corporate as well as non-profit accounting until I left to raise a family.

When my children got older, I did myself and my children a favor and went back to work doing something that I loved and was able to manage time-wise. I left ye old debits and credits behind.

No more puke green accountant paper in my life.

At this stage, I barely handle my own bills and financial statements, much less other people's.

Yesterday, though, I was confronted (confounded) by an accounting joke that I created.....and it cracked me up SO much that I wanted to share it with you and shout it out loud.

Many of you will not understand what the hell I am saying.

I don't care.

It's funny.

AND....it's what got us into a lot of financial binds that we are all dealing with now.

So, what is it, you ask?

Accountants are no longer adhering to G.A.A.P. (Generally Accepted Accounting Principles).

They are now using (and have been using for some time) J.A.A.P. (my term for Jack Ass Accounting Principles. )

Aha....now you know....and perhaps, just perhaps a few of you are cracking up.....

You Got Injured Doing What?

Okay, now THIS is a funny story.....


Of course, it is funny in my mind....let's see if you think it's hysterical too......


I am not going to worry about dangling participles or the like in this writing.


Today, I have run outta time to really comb through and nit pick this blog. I won't get RID of grammatical errors...they will stay....


Here's the funny story.....brevity will WILL will prevail.....


I am preparing for another Power Lifting meet.


I have been preparing pretty hard for the last six weeks.


The competition is on October 29th in Orlando Florida, near the entrance to Sea World.


If it does not go well, I can always show up at Sea World in my beloved singlet and ask for a job. Fortunately, I do expect it to go well, so I plan to continue my permanent residency in Virginia.


Focus pocus: I'm back from my reverie......


In the last six weeks, I have: taken professional photos for my seminars/workshops and related book. I met with my mentors, Alwyn and Rachel Cosgrove in Santa Clarita, California. I attended Christine Kane's Uplevel your Business Gold mastermind in Asheville, North Carolina.....


...and then there's the prosaic bits about cooking, cleaning and raising children.....


Boiling it down, I have been pleasantly busy.....


Last week, I drove to Asheville, N.C. With my friend and colleague, Dana Malon owner of Soulfit Women ™.


I have lived in Virginia a majority of my life. I have lived in both Southern (preferred) and Northern Virginia and often make the journey North to South to North.


Until last January, I had never made the Westward journey through Virginia.


Now I have, and I am here to report that it is a long-a__ way.......


Let's put it this way, Virginia is very bottom heavy and is rotund at the border with North Carolina.


I did the driving. Dana allowed me to drive her car.


The 7 hour and 15 minute drive to Asheville, NC was uneventful. We made two very quick stops.


The drive home, on Wednesday night, was unpleasant. The unending torrential rain made the driving conditions pretty difficult.


We stopped once. We got gas, used the restroom and bought a lottery ticket.


One stop in 7 hours and 45 minutes may not have been enough for me.


I woke up with a little pain in my right calf on Friday morning.


I don't normally have calf pain, so it bothered me (a little), but I pressed on.


I even did my last lower body workout before the big meet next Saturday.


On Saturday, I woke up hobbling.


On Sunday, I had more of a hobble and began to worry about DVT's. This is deep vein thrombosis, which I know I am genetically prone to have. I had a Pulmonary Embolism once, and have worked hard to prevent another one from stopping my life.


Later that afternoon, upon further reflection, I began really pushing my leg into the discomfort zone. Walking without a hobble and insisting on full knee extension. I told myself that I did not have a problem and that my leg was healed.....I was my own Ernest Angley....be healed!


It began immediately getting better.


Today, in a little bit of pain, I am still not completely sure what is wrong with my calf.


Here is what I am doing about it.... I have made two doctor's appointments (ART™ and Primary Care)


and perhaps more importantly, I am envisioning this complete recovery from.....


and this IS the funny part.


A injury obtained from driving a car from North Carolina to Virginia......


I drove for 7 hours and 45 minutes with my foot in a plantarflexed state and I got injured.


Folks, THAT'S funny.....


I lift heavy weights weekly. I bench over 130 lbs. I squat over 230 lbs. I deadlift at least 275 lbs.


….and I got injured driving.


Iron-nee this, batman ;-)

change

Forget: "Brother, can you spare a dime?"

Don't worry about women's lib and inflation: "Sister, can you spare a quarter?"

Think about this: Can you afford NOT to change?

Transitions

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes......

June is what I consider a transition month.

Out with school and in with summer break and living carefree light-long days.

In early June, many recitals, awards ceremonies, and graduation ceremonies are held.

This marks the culmination/celebration of all of the hard work children have incurred over the school year.

They've learned so much during those nine months, that it's time to polish that knowledge and show the world their shining talents.

All that is learned from September to June is wrapped up in Innisbrook wrapping paper, complete with bow.

This is an important transition. It is time to end this year's learning and begin anew next fall.

It occurred to me, this year in particular, that transitions are a necessary (and scary) occurrence.

Without transition, nothing is gained and life remains stagnant.

Transitions are SO difficult for me that I grump-a-lot with my (saintly) husband and (God-bless-them) children when I am on the cusp of a change.

I know that transitions are difficult for most people. That is why some people will stay in a despised relationship, job, [name your nemesis] rather than venture on into the great unknown. I am sure that you or a “friend of yours” has lived through the difficulty of that type of decision at least once.

It's June and my son just graduated from a school that he attended for 9 years.

Major life and minor life changes have happened to our family since the first day we began this 9 year journey.

Laugh lines have been formed.

Gray hairs have been concealed.

Beloved family members are no longer here.

What a bitter-sweet victory treat we parents ingested at the graduation ceremony.

Sweet to see the 27 kids say good-bye to each other, the faculty and the administration. Bitter(ly sad) to see the 27 kids say good-bye to each other and the faculty and the administration.

Perhaps Aristotle describes it best. "The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet."

I (and he) will miss everything that he experienced at the school.

It was a wonderful experience.

I have watched him grow from a first day kindergartner to a rising high schooler.

A majority of his life and 20% of my life have been lived while attending Westminster School.

But, the time has come for all good girls and boys to go unafraid to their next life adventure.

This transition to High School reminded me so much of my own transition to college from a High School that still evokes very fond memories of experiences and friendships. You can imagine that I am mushy, gushy and slushy at this passage.

For some reason that move from High School to college was not too scary for me. I think that I didn't know to be afraid. I really missed my High School friends (none finer), but was ready to embrace the next faze (pun intented).

After that, change got a little scary. My first auditing job...daunting. My first corporate accounting job...confusing. My first day at a non-profit....boring.

I then ventured into the baby raising (sometimes hair raising) experiment. The outcome of that endeavor remains to be seen....stay posted.

Now, I am venturing into building my own business empire (waist).

It's all change.

It's all scary.

It's all good.

This month, I have another change. It's inevitable, too.

I add another year to my age.

That's a change that SHOULD BE scary.

But, like everything else.....I embrace the change.....welcome it.

Time may change me, but I can't trace time.....

Without change there can be no intellectual, spiritual, or emotional growth.

So, turn and face the strange (even if you are just looking in a mirror)....feel free to put on your dance shoes.....and remember there is nothing permanent in life but ch-ch-change.....

Ground Control to Letgo Glom

I have done it!

I have inadvertantly released myself of my (self-induced) promise of writing "monthly" blogs.

In a month that begins with the hailing of fools, holds the burden of a tax return deadline, and is full of showers, my lack of blog seems petty.

(Tom) Petty to some, free falling to me.

In the last few hours of the last day of April, I posted my April blog.

Alas!

It shows as a March blog.

What!?!

I clicked on the "publish post" on April 30, 2011 at 10:53 p.m., but because I had begun writing it in "blogger" in March, it actually "posted" as a March posting date.

Hence, there is no Apri 2011 blog.

Looking for a way to regain control over the situation, I thought about posting one that I had started writing in April.

Quickly I learned that I never started one in April 2011.

I felt the (David) Bowie knife right in the gut.....there can be no April 2011 posting....EVER.

I found that letting go of the notion of monthly posts was the best way to gain control of my expectations.

I subscribed to what I coin, "THE CATCH AND RELEASE" program.

You should try The Catch and Release Program:

Catch yourself setting (unrealistic) expectations and release those expectations.

In the end, I kinda liked this. I let go of a notion that I had glommed onto for no reason other than "it seemed right".

In fact, the posting date actually worked better since my "April" writing was lined up better as 3 of 3 box writings....

There Comes a Time in your life when you return to your (Neil) Young days when you didn't feel Helpless by not attaining your goals. I have reached that time in my life.

You might want to try it yourself. It is very freeing.

As I neatly finish my (not-always-monthly) "May" blog.... I realize that it is 15 days before the end of the month....

...this leaves room for one more blog this month...or maybe not ;-)

Today Not to be Confused with Last Year

(One year ago) Today I made a big change.

I took the time to come out "here" and blog.

Tomorrow I will have one year and one day of experience in blogging.

Those are the not the primary differences in the year that has passed.

In this last year, I have learned much. I have gained confidence. I have grown personally and professionally.

Not only do I believe in other people's possibilities, but I now see my own. That IS important right now! I am looking forward to this next year in blogging....even if it's just 1 blog per month (not to be confused with 1 per day or 1 per week).

I hope that you come along this blogging journey with me and I appreciate every minute that you spent reading my philosophies on life as I see it.

I can promise you this: I primarily write to entertain and educate myself. If I entertain and educate you, that is icing on the muffin!

Stepping Outta Your Box (3rd and Final Triptych)

It is hard to say, objectively, which of my 3 BOX writings should be in the middle of the triptych I have unintentionally created.

Which is the true message of "stepping out"?

Which writing deserves to be the middle focal point and which are the two flanking supporting structure(d sentences)?

You can choose.

My writings on the topic of living outside of your box have hinged panels for easy transport. You can take my lessons and transport them into your everyday life. I hope that you do.

It all began this year when I was fortunate to have been cast for the rarely cast part of Tinkerbell.

I suppose I fit the stature of a Tinkerbell when I stood next to our 6'4" Peter Pan.

Once again, our director Lori, showed her prowess at casting.

Everyone was perfectly cast; and most were stepping outside of their box for a second time.

Tinkerbell was truly the role of a lifetime for me.

I mean, really, when else do you get a part where you don't need to memorize lines, you have a really cool costume and incredible makeup, you are on stage ALOT with the main squeeze (Peter Pan) and the kids hero worship you at the end of the night?

Lori had faith in me even when I wasn't sure who/what/when/where and why Tinkerbell.

Paranoia set in when some in the cast (you know who you are...teehee....) did not understand a real live Tinkerbell.....how could I possibly live up to the quickness of a laser light beam? Some cast members were probably worried about the skimpiness of my outfit (see Outta Your Box part 2).

I am not sure that I could see the vision either, but if Lori conceived my role of Tinkerbell, I leap-of-faith trusted her vision.

Strangely, and unbelievably, I did not know the story of Peter Pan and Tinkerbell before this parent's play was chosen.

Once Lori announced the cast list, I went about doing my research. I must have logged in a 40+ hour work week watching every version of Peter Pan that I could get my hands on (including our now family classic, HOOK).

After the pixie dust has settled, I realize that the thing that came out of this year's performance is that I now BELIEVE in myself.

Do you believe?

You Gotta Believe....

The title of a song in Peter Pan....Tinkerbell's song.

I wish that I could share this song with you and embed it in this blog, but if you want to hear the song, you'll have to dig a little.....here is the website where it is found....you need to go down the part where it has the “full song”: http://www.peterpanthemusical.com/licence/the-songs.html

Since our Peter Pan (James Dillion) did a MUCH better job than this canned song AND the scene is something that you need to view, I will describe the unfolding scene.

Tinkerbell has theatrically taken the poison out of Peter Pan's hands and drunk it down....saving Mr. Pan from a fate known as death....she falls down and appears dead to Pan.

Musically, the introduction of the song begins in a minor tone....

Peter Pan then asks, "Do You Believe in Fairies?" and the MAGIC begins.....

The audience is pleaded by Peter Pan to show their support by twisting and shouting their belief in fairies.

A major key ensues.

As the audience gets more and more into the song, clapping dancing and shouting, Tinkerbell is re-animated coming back to life!

As the Tinkerbell on the ground, it was one of the most exciting moments I have experienced. It began with small children saying ”I believe”....then clapping....then shouting. ...until finally, I rise and dance in the intense liveliness that they have created!

Impractical?

Yes.

Indisputable?

Yes!

This is symbolic of how much energy can be created by believing in yourself and others believing in you too....no matter how far outside of your box you feel.

I set as my goal to be the bestest little Tinkerbell EVER!

I goal set. I GOAL SET. I goal set.

I mindset. I MINDSET. I mindset.

I believed that I could reach my goal of being the best Tinkerbell ever. I rarely lost sight of that goal. If/when I did lose sight of that goal (really, dancing by myself?), I would reset my belief the next moment, hour or day.

It's funny because I did play the “waif-like” Tinkerbell 2 weeks after another (seems like competing goal) of being the strongest I have ever been by showing my mettle in the lifting arena. How is that possible....

didn't matter.....I trusted that I would get there.

Every week, we rehearsed and I believed.

Lori took me through movements which made me feel uncomfortable.....

examples~my cat like nudge on Peter Pan
my skimpy Tinkerbell outfit
dying on stage and have someone sing a song to me
dancing on stage (grapevine) and doing a cartwheel

However, I trusted the rehearsals and that process de-sensitizing my nerves....and I overcame fear and disbelief....

I did ALL those things....and had a GREAT applause at the end of my journey.

THAT was MAJOR (key) MAGIC for me!

I have had the fortune to be in WWW (Wagon Wheels West), PoO (Phantom of the Opry), OK (Oklahoma), and now PP (Peter Pan). It was destined to be my theatrical exit...(or was it?)

OK, you know that when you have done PP/PoO, it's over for the rest of your career!

Once again, stepping into a discomfort zone has grown me as a person and business owner.

I can't thank those in this production enough.

My absolute thanks to Lori for stepping out on a limb with her vision.

A big thank you to my idolized Peter Pan for never leaving a (wo)man behind....he was the most kind and accepting person to whom I had the fortune to be a sidekick.

Lost boys....you are the BEST...you made it so easy to play off your eccentricities!

Darling boys~I loved your characters~just SO darling!

Wendy~you made it easy.

Miss Kimberly was back again this year with a bravado performance of Liza and a pirate. Newcomer, Amit Shah...THANK YOU for stepping outside of your box!

Believe me, if I can push my own boundaries, you can too.

Here is my 3rd and final revelation about STEPPING OUTSIDE OF YOUR BOX: (***)

SET GOALS and believe that you will achieve them.

Mindset is everything. ...get in the right mindset....

Then.....

GO FOR IT!

Mindset can set you up for failure or success....come on....

I know that you will be FAIRY FAIRY SUCCESSFUL!!!

but, you GOTTA BELIEVE....

I believe in you! (turn on the major music and dance!)


***(if necessary, the next set of writings will be euphemistically named “envelope pushing”....not to be confused with push-me pull you)

Stepping Outta Your Box (Part 2)

I have more to say on this subject because I actually did more in the years to come.

Part two is part of the storybox fairytale, and I feel the urge to write it.

This writing is not necessary to explain my belief in why you should get out of your comfort zone. I have already done that in part one.

I stepped outside of my box a couple more times for the parent's play and received a beautiful gift that I want to share.

The year after WWW, I signed up for the Parent's Play again.

This time the role that I took, “chorus girl”, was actually a misnomer....

I took this role with two good friends of mine. We were “chorus girls” Zaza, Mimi and Lulu in another spaghetti musical called Phantom of the Op'ry (PoO).

We were two girls and one man...Chorus Churly Whirly Gurls!

The punch line was a “shoe in” 6 foot something man dressed as a ballerina.

As is typical, I walked into that role eyes closed shut.

Those chorus girl roles were actually much much bigger than I expected. I should have suspected this when I noticed that the “chorus girls” were actually named.

These chorus girls were on the stage for nearly the entire show.

Our roles were the comic relief. We were a part of TWO funny songs where we actually had to sing ensemble and solo. I had to stand up on the stage and use my voice in front of all of my friends, Romans and countrymen.

Holy shitake mushroom!

To top it all off (not to be confused with topless), our “man” had to unexpectedly leave the show.

We two girls had to hone in on our funny bone and make our roles roll on the floor hilarious....

It wasn't a good sign that the music director said that our song was “boring” early in our rehearsals. Boring wasn't the adjective we were looking for.

So, we rolled up our sleeves and set out on an adventure to make our songs funny. Tapping into creative partnering is also an experience I highly recommend. Leslie, Alice and I had a blast creating quite the scene in our song.

In the end, we did it!

Again, the rush of pride that I felt for myself is practically indescribable.

Had I not stepped outta my box, I would not have experienced the laughter shared with my closest friends on the set...

….laughter when Alice, who used a stage light in her cleavage to read her lines back stage, had the light pop out on stage during a live scene.. the 3 minute kiss between one parent and another.....and the coughing out of “get a room” from a cast member....the chorus girls outfits being voted off the island by the theatrical types (nope...I am NOT still bitter about that)...

One of the craziest things happened when we rehearsed a scene over and over and over....it was a complicated scene involving a lot of people and a lot of cues. It is the scene when the Phantom drops a bomb. We are all on the stage and one of the parents dropped their cell phone. Unintentionally, 911 was dialed. The emergency call taker heard a group discussing a bomb scare....a bomb is getting ready to go off....

After the scene was over, a cell phone rang. 911 was calling back to verify that all was okay....they were ready to send in the bomb squad. Can you believe it?

Last year, I was given a gift.

I signed up for the parent's play once again. Not because I wanted to be in it or needed to be in it. My growth in this area had been fulfilled,....or so I thought.

I joined last year's cast of Oklahoma because a good friend of mine was directing it and I told her that I would (morally) support her by joining the cast.

This does not mean that I joined with morals intact. That, I pray, will never happen.

I had a bit part again....the part of Chorus girl....a real chorus girl. In Oklahoma, a spade is being called a spade. I had 4 songs....all ensemble.

I thought that the joy and magic would be gone. I was wrong.

When you step on the stage and sing with a bunch of other people, you are given creative energy that only people that get on stage can understand. But, that is not the gift that I was given....that creative energy was a extra bonus.

Last year's real gift came when Kimberly, who was playing another chorus girl, came up to me and said, “When I saw you in the racy platform boots and fish-net stockings in PoO, I thought: If she can do it, I can do it too”.

How Wonderful!

MY life dream is to inspire people. My actions in previous years had an unintended positive influence in this wonderful woman's life. This woman, who is a self-proclaimed introvert.

She stepped outside of her box.....she discovered the wonderment and joyfulness of stepping into unfamiliar territory and I had the gift of being there with her as she took a wonderful journey into growth!

Lesson two~You never know when your actions may inspire others....so keep on steppin' outside of your box and never shy away from the light....the next Tony winner might be an audience member of your show!

Stepping Outta Your Box (Part 1)

A few years ago, serendipity intervened, and I was asked to portray the pictured character, Kactus Kate, in a musical called Wagon Wheels West (WWW).

I was 43 years old.

As a self-proclaimed “shy extrovert” (that is a whole other story), I would have to step WAY out of my comfort zone....

Every year, the parents get together for “FUN-raisers”. Most of the time, these “fun-raisers” raise funds for items that the school needs and cannot afford to purchase.

As an active volunteer at the school, I was involved in many of these volunteer opportunities. However, I had never ventured into the fun raiser known as the “parents play” (appropriately not shortened to PP).

One year that all changed.

I was asked to participate in the chosen musical, Wagon Wheels West. With a cast of 36, they needed quick extra cast members to make this production happen. No audition. No prior experience needed. No talent.

Even I could do that, right?

OMG. My fantasy come true!

Seriously.

I have ALWAYS loved musicals. When younger, I would sit and watch black and white or color ones on re-runs. Top Hat, The Sound of Music, and Fiddler on the Roof just to name a few.

I would go frequently to the local theater . I would sit, anticipating, in my seat awaiting the curtain's rise from the floor. When the orchestra began, I would let the music and settings wash all over me until I felt like I was living that musical.

I was Dolly Levi. I was a member of the Chorus Line. I had the “Memory”. So, it isn't a far stretch to say that I have always wanted to be in theater.

Being shy and NOT being able to sing was a pretty valid excuse that held me back. (Duh!) So, the “tragedy” of not having enough parents volunteers became my “comedy” and dream come true.

I carelessly stepped into evening and weekend rehearsals.

One small Step For Me...One LARGE STEP For My Small Mind.

I had no idea that I was leaping into a fantastic personal growth phase that I would experience from this single small step.

I played the (chomping at the) bit part of Kactus Kate. Okay, it might'a been Cactus Kate, but I always considered the role spicier than that. A character named Kactus was much more exotic.

Ooooh.... I was an official cast member! I had a copy of the script. I even had this on the front of the notebook holding my script:

There we were, all 36 of us in a small music room every weekend.

(In keeping with my belief that you sink to your lowest level of humor) My very juvenile humor found others like me. We sat in the back drinking, laughing and trouble making. I felt like I was in the Breakfast Club.

Believe me, there were THOSE in the room who did not appreciate our laughter, giggling, whispering or anything that we non-actors were doing. My oh my! As support against the thespians, we had each other, and we did what we wanted to do.

I was re-living a summer sleep over camp. How many times do you get a chance at 40 something to have teenage silliness again?

It was da'bomb, baby!

Before we knew it, it was opening night.

Lights on.

Running toward the stage with 35 other parents to belt out Wagon Wheels are Rollin'. I felt electrifying energy in everything that I did that night.

Scene 1-Strong Spotlights on Me standing there with the broom. My eyes gaze starkly into the audience. Sweeping (which, btw, I had to be taught how to do). I uttered the first words. Nerves. Memories of the director saying “don't worry and don't get nervous. Everybody knows that the first person on the stage is a nobody”. Though some people would derive displeasure from that statement, it allowed me to gain great confidence!

That night, we, as a collective and cohesive group, overcame obstacles. Missed cues, the loft being on fire (okay, this didn't happened, but the smell of fire was strong and we were worried), concerns over the fact that we had never really gone through the entire play before.


Guess What?

We did it!

AND I did it!

I was changed forever....

I learned that if you step outside of your box, you will not regret it. You will be one step closer to becoming the person you never knew was inside of you!

Ahtletic Woman (Toastmaster's Speech #1~Me, Me, Me, Me!)

Harmonica: “toot toot toot toot”....~ Me: "me, me, me, me! "

This is a story about me. An abbreviated story. A 4-6 minute story.

Wow. How do you sum yourself up in 4-6 minutes? Perhaps I should have opened a twitter account to figure out how to truncate 45 years into 600-900 words.

Instead, I took the time to really figure out what I should hone in on as “me”.

I decided I would begin with the objective descriptions of me (not to be confused with objectionable things about me, which would take well over a day). I was born on June 26th, 1965 (making me, for those of you with math difficulties, 45 years old).

I lived internationally with my parents because my dad worked for DOD.

I grew to the ripe old height of 5'2” (not eyes of blue, but brown). I have weighed anywhere from 121 to 172 at my current height. This suggests that I have struggled with weight problems all of my life.

I did actually weigh 192.5 when I gave birth to my two boys, but that doesn't count. It does give you one more hint about me. I am the mother of two boys and am happily married.

I know that these facts are boring and will only take up 20 seconds of this speech, so I venture on with the real subject of this speech....me.

Narcissistic? Probably. Neurotic? No. Necessary? Yes.

After much preponderance and reflection, I came to the conclusion that the “me” I should talk about today is: Laura the “Athletic Woman”.

This is not to be confused with the bionic woman, wonder woman or woman of the year.

Plain and simple. “Athletic Woman”

This label has come up repeatedly in my life of late and I felt this was a perfect time to address this slice of life, para me.

The term, athletic woman, is one that still makes me shutter, chuckle, cringe, and perplex all in one fell swoop. I guess that word would be "shuckinglex".

The reason this is such a strange label for me is because I began life with a very different label.

In elementary school I was the last one picked on the kickball team.

During summers, I hated being on the swim team . The swim coach always shouted at me to go faster....I called him “fuzzy hair head”~it was not a compliment.

Then there was the awful physical education in middle school. That was was where my mom yanked me out of P.E. because the teacher did not give two hoots about the enlarged spleen I had from mono.

Ah.... and then....High School. Every non athletic female's dream. (Sarcasm inserted here). I just LOVED changing in the dressing room. The rolls of “fat” chuckled and buckled around aimlessly. I was the designated “fat cheerleader” at our school. I am sure that the PE teacher found me something of an enigma. This is why I WILL NOT go back to High School reunions “fat”.

So....you can imagine that the label of ”'athletic woman” still comes as a surprise to me.

But, here I am. 5' 2”, 143 pounds, 27% body fat.

I can bench press 120 pounds. I can curl 55 pounds. I can squat 205 pounds. I can deadlift 242 pounds.

Wow.

These stats may be impressive to some, but to me, they are just part of who I am now.

I am strong.

I am a power-lifter. A power-lifter is an athlete who attempts to bench press, squat and dead lift as much weight as possible in a one rep max (1 repetition).

I was recently in a classroom where the teacher talked about everyone's pre-judgement. We all judge, whether we mean to or not.

To prove her point, she held flash cards up with several human descriptions. For example: business man, housewife, and parent. Then, two words flashed up: Athletic Woman.

I am thinking that some people in that room may have even thought of me when they saw that card. Did someone actually utter my name when they described that word? (okay, maybe this is narcissistic)

I've come a long way baby and don't plan to stop anytime soon.

I would like to inspire women everywhere to attempt feats that they consider beyond their ability.

I have seen where I came from and what I can do now and completely believe that ANYONE can become an athletic woman (except a man~and even that is doable now).

Ha! The last one picked on the kickball team could now kick sand in any beach goers face.

I am a late bloomer and proud of it.

It's now time to turn it over to you, you, you, you Mr. Toastmaster

Be Happy Where You Are

I found a wonderful Suzuki Piano teacher for my boys.

She lives right down the street from us and has the patience of Job. Watching her teach my boys has been a fantastic experience filled with pure pleasure and awe.

Every week my oldest child went to his piano lesson and was showered with praise and patience. Soon, my younger son followed. Again, pure inspiration.

One day I asked her if she taught piano to adults, eagerly hoping that she did. I wanted to get on her waiting list.

Fast forward a couple of years. THE day came and I received a phone call that she had an opening! By this time, she and I had become friends and I was ecstatic to be learning from such a masterful teacher and friend.

I remember the first lesson that I had. I sat down in her studio, nervously put my hands on the keys, strongly screwed my right foot into the pedal and Bang, Bang, BANGED out a 4/4 tempo tune.

It was AWFUL. Abysmal. Abominable.

But, there she sat, seemingly impervious to the dreadfulness that exuded from her Steinway Grand Piano.

She patiently pointed things out.

She did not laugh, grimace or roll her eyes with contempt.

She did not lecture.

She just listened with a smile. Ahhhh......bliss.

I found someone who wanted me to progress in my musicality. She was enthusiastically willing to lead my melodic journey.

I worked hard for 6 months.

We began in the “Banging Period”.

We next ventured into the “Over Pedaling Period”. (This era of music was rife with overcompensating to hide bad technique).

Then there was the distinct “Voicing Period”.

Slowly and surely I began to play somewhat musically.

I was accomplishing a dream that I had held since childhood: To play the piano AND to enjoy hearing myself play.

I was able to take the black notes and white pages of my favorite show-tunes and unravel them.

“We” were getting there. “We” were a team!

Every week I would criticize my playing. Often expressing this frustration in onomatopoeia form: “Ssssshhhoooooot.”

Looking back at the self-criticism, I recognize it as frustration; it was always there, nagging at me. A perfect week of practice blown within 2 minutes. Often, I would sit at her piano wondering if she had possibly moved the keys before my arrival.

I wanted to get better and still couldn't quite figure out what was wrong. And then they were spoken....those 5 words that changed EVERYTHING.

She gave me a gift when she said to me what her master teacher had said to her:

“Be Happy Where You Are”.

Wow. That changed Everything.

Everything.


......................and not just my perception of music.

Piano, like most things in life, is a process.

Time and practice make everything work right.

In Piano, muscle memory is key. Being able to read, count, and feel the music is absolutely a major (not to be confused with a minor) key.

Once I learned to be happy where I was, I was able to move on and learn more. I took risks. I was consciously free to grow.

I invested in myself and in my interest.

I took a college level music theory course and learned how to count music.

The music theory class was the foundational knowledge that I was missing.

…..OMG....I remember when this teacher learned, at one of my early lessons, that I didn't know how to count beats. To this day she has no idea how I could read and play music without being able to count. She had a valid point.....

While learning those missing foundational pieces I continued to play and learn from her. Soon, I was playing Beethoven's Sonata; Billy Joel's She's Always a Woman; and my ultimate favorite, Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody.

These were incredible feats for me and I took pride and pleasure that I had accomplished them.

I can now count. I can now voice. I can now feel the music. I am thrilled at my progress. I still get frustrated at my playing, but I always remember, “be happy where you are”.

I now use that phrase in every aspect of my life.

Those 5 little words changed my attitude toward most situations and have brought me ultimate joy.

As a follow up to this story. I began to personal train that piano teacher. She valued my knowledge just as much as I valued hers. One day, after a session, she said to me, “you are such a good teacher, you are so patient and really seem to understand me”.

I was ecstatic.

I realize that she had, without realizing it, taught me how to teach.

She taught me to be patient and kind. She taught me to teach others. She modeled the perfect teacher for me.

With a beaming smile on my face, I realized that we had come full circle.

To you Mrs. Hunter, I tip my hat!