J.A.A.P

You an take the Accountant outta her job title, but you can't take the humor outta the Accountant

I have HAVE have to write this.

Albeit short.

Many years ago, in a lifetime, far far away, I was an accountant. I dreamed of writing books about Auspicious Auditors, Flirtatious Financiers, and Bodacious Beancounters.

This may be in part because I am a great lover of alliteration, but also is because I wanted to shed favorable light on those lovable accountant types.

I worked in a large CPA firm, and those accountants were funny. After my necessary two year stint in a CPA firm, I went into corporate as well as non-profit accounting until I left to raise a family.

When my children got older, I did myself and my children a favor and went back to work doing something that I loved and was able to manage time-wise. I left ye old debits and credits behind.

No more puke green accountant paper in my life.

At this stage, I barely handle my own bills and financial statements, much less other people's.

Yesterday, though, I was confronted (confounded) by an accounting joke that I created.....and it cracked me up SO much that I wanted to share it with you and shout it out loud.

Many of you will not understand what the hell I am saying.

I don't care.

It's funny.

AND....it's what got us into a lot of financial binds that we are all dealing with now.

So, what is it, you ask?

Accountants are no longer adhering to G.A.A.P. (Generally Accepted Accounting Principles).

They are now using (and have been using for some time) J.A.A.P. (my term for Jack Ass Accounting Principles. )

Aha....now you know....and perhaps, just perhaps a few of you are cracking up.....

You Got Injured Doing What?

Okay, now THIS is a funny story.....


Of course, it is funny in my mind....let's see if you think it's hysterical too......


I am not going to worry about dangling participles or the like in this writing.


Today, I have run outta time to really comb through and nit pick this blog. I won't get RID of grammatical errors...they will stay....


Here's the funny story.....brevity will WILL will prevail.....


I am preparing for another Power Lifting meet.


I have been preparing pretty hard for the last six weeks.


The competition is on October 29th in Orlando Florida, near the entrance to Sea World.


If it does not go well, I can always show up at Sea World in my beloved singlet and ask for a job. Fortunately, I do expect it to go well, so I plan to continue my permanent residency in Virginia.


Focus pocus: I'm back from my reverie......


In the last six weeks, I have: taken professional photos for my seminars/workshops and related book. I met with my mentors, Alwyn and Rachel Cosgrove in Santa Clarita, California. I attended Christine Kane's Uplevel your Business Gold mastermind in Asheville, North Carolina.....


...and then there's the prosaic bits about cooking, cleaning and raising children.....


Boiling it down, I have been pleasantly busy.....


Last week, I drove to Asheville, N.C. With my friend and colleague, Dana Malon owner of Soulfit Women ™.


I have lived in Virginia a majority of my life. I have lived in both Southern (preferred) and Northern Virginia and often make the journey North to South to North.


Until last January, I had never made the Westward journey through Virginia.


Now I have, and I am here to report that it is a long-a__ way.......


Let's put it this way, Virginia is very bottom heavy and is rotund at the border with North Carolina.


I did the driving. Dana allowed me to drive her car.


The 7 hour and 15 minute drive to Asheville, NC was uneventful. We made two very quick stops.


The drive home, on Wednesday night, was unpleasant. The unending torrential rain made the driving conditions pretty difficult.


We stopped once. We got gas, used the restroom and bought a lottery ticket.


One stop in 7 hours and 45 minutes may not have been enough for me.


I woke up with a little pain in my right calf on Friday morning.


I don't normally have calf pain, so it bothered me (a little), but I pressed on.


I even did my last lower body workout before the big meet next Saturday.


On Saturday, I woke up hobbling.


On Sunday, I had more of a hobble and began to worry about DVT's. This is deep vein thrombosis, which I know I am genetically prone to have. I had a Pulmonary Embolism once, and have worked hard to prevent another one from stopping my life.


Later that afternoon, upon further reflection, I began really pushing my leg into the discomfort zone. Walking without a hobble and insisting on full knee extension. I told myself that I did not have a problem and that my leg was healed.....I was my own Ernest Angley....be healed!


It began immediately getting better.


Today, in a little bit of pain, I am still not completely sure what is wrong with my calf.


Here is what I am doing about it.... I have made two doctor's appointments (ART™ and Primary Care)


and perhaps more importantly, I am envisioning this complete recovery from.....


and this IS the funny part.


A injury obtained from driving a car from North Carolina to Virginia......


I drove for 7 hours and 45 minutes with my foot in a plantarflexed state and I got injured.


Folks, THAT'S funny.....


I lift heavy weights weekly. I bench over 130 lbs. I squat over 230 lbs. I deadlift at least 275 lbs.


….and I got injured driving.


Iron-nee this, batman ;-)

change

Forget: "Brother, can you spare a dime?"

Don't worry about women's lib and inflation: "Sister, can you spare a quarter?"

Think about this: Can you afford NOT to change?

Transitions

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes......

June is what I consider a transition month.

Out with school and in with summer break and living carefree light-long days.

In early June, many recitals, awards ceremonies, and graduation ceremonies are held.

This marks the culmination/celebration of all of the hard work children have incurred over the school year.

They've learned so much during those nine months, that it's time to polish that knowledge and show the world their shining talents.

All that is learned from September to June is wrapped up in Innisbrook wrapping paper, complete with bow.

This is an important transition. It is time to end this year's learning and begin anew next fall.

It occurred to me, this year in particular, that transitions are a necessary (and scary) occurrence.

Without transition, nothing is gained and life remains stagnant.

Transitions are SO difficult for me that I grump-a-lot with my (saintly) husband and (God-bless-them) children when I am on the cusp of a change.

I know that transitions are difficult for most people. That is why some people will stay in a despised relationship, job, [name your nemesis] rather than venture on into the great unknown. I am sure that you or a “friend of yours” has lived through the difficulty of that type of decision at least once.

It's June and my son just graduated from a school that he attended for 9 years.

Major life and minor life changes have happened to our family since the first day we began this 9 year journey.

Laugh lines have been formed.

Gray hairs have been concealed.

Beloved family members are no longer here.

What a bitter-sweet victory treat we parents ingested at the graduation ceremony.

Sweet to see the 27 kids say good-bye to each other, the faculty and the administration. Bitter(ly sad) to see the 27 kids say good-bye to each other and the faculty and the administration.

Perhaps Aristotle describes it best. "The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet."

I (and he) will miss everything that he experienced at the school.

It was a wonderful experience.

I have watched him grow from a first day kindergartner to a rising high schooler.

A majority of his life and 20% of my life have been lived while attending Westminster School.

But, the time has come for all good girls and boys to go unafraid to their next life adventure.

This transition to High School reminded me so much of my own transition to college from a High School that still evokes very fond memories of experiences and friendships. You can imagine that I am mushy, gushy and slushy at this passage.

For some reason that move from High School to college was not too scary for me. I think that I didn't know to be afraid. I really missed my High School friends (none finer), but was ready to embrace the next faze (pun intented).

After that, change got a little scary. My first auditing job...daunting. My first corporate accounting job...confusing. My first day at a non-profit....boring.

I then ventured into the baby raising (sometimes hair raising) experiment. The outcome of that endeavor remains to be seen....stay posted.

Now, I am venturing into building my own business empire (waist).

It's all change.

It's all scary.

It's all good.

This month, I have another change. It's inevitable, too.

I add another year to my age.

That's a change that SHOULD BE scary.

But, like everything else.....I embrace the change.....welcome it.

Time may change me, but I can't trace time.....

Without change there can be no intellectual, spiritual, or emotional growth.

So, turn and face the strange (even if you are just looking in a mirror)....feel free to put on your dance shoes.....and remember there is nothing permanent in life but ch-ch-change.....

Ground Control to Letgo Glom

I have done it!

I have inadvertantly released myself of my (self-induced) promise of writing "monthly" blogs.

In a month that begins with the hailing of fools, holds the burden of a tax return deadline, and is full of showers, my lack of blog seems petty.

(Tom) Petty to some, free falling to me.

In the last few hours of the last day of April, I posted my April blog.

Alas!

It shows as a March blog.

What!?!

I clicked on the "publish post" on April 30, 2011 at 10:53 p.m., but because I had begun writing it in "blogger" in March, it actually "posted" as a March posting date.

Hence, there is no Apri 2011 blog.

Looking for a way to regain control over the situation, I thought about posting one that I had started writing in April.

Quickly I learned that I never started one in April 2011.

I felt the (David) Bowie knife right in the gut.....there can be no April 2011 posting....EVER.

I found that letting go of the notion of monthly posts was the best way to gain control of my expectations.

I subscribed to what I coin, "THE CATCH AND RELEASE" program.

You should try The Catch and Release Program:

Catch yourself setting (unrealistic) expectations and release those expectations.

In the end, I kinda liked this. I let go of a notion that I had glommed onto for no reason other than "it seemed right".

In fact, the posting date actually worked better since my "April" writing was lined up better as 3 of 3 box writings....

There Comes a Time in your life when you return to your (Neil) Young days when you didn't feel Helpless by not attaining your goals. I have reached that time in my life.

You might want to try it yourself. It is very freeing.

As I neatly finish my (not-always-monthly) "May" blog.... I realize that it is 15 days before the end of the month....

...this leaves room for one more blog this month...or maybe not ;-)

Today Not to be Confused with Last Year

(One year ago) Today I made a big change.

I took the time to come out "here" and blog.

Tomorrow I will have one year and one day of experience in blogging.

Those are the not the primary differences in the year that has passed.

In this last year, I have learned much. I have gained confidence. I have grown personally and professionally.

Not only do I believe in other people's possibilities, but I now see my own. That IS important right now! I am looking forward to this next year in blogging....even if it's just 1 blog per month (not to be confused with 1 per day or 1 per week).

I hope that you come along this blogging journey with me and I appreciate every minute that you spent reading my philosophies on life as I see it.

I can promise you this: I primarily write to entertain and educate myself. If I entertain and educate you, that is icing on the muffin!

Stepping Outta Your Box (3rd and Final Triptych)

It is hard to say, objectively, which of my 3 BOX writings should be in the middle of the triptych I have unintentionally created.

Which is the true message of "stepping out"?

Which writing deserves to be the middle focal point and which are the two flanking supporting structure(d sentences)?

You can choose.

My writings on the topic of living outside of your box have hinged panels for easy transport. You can take my lessons and transport them into your everyday life. I hope that you do.

It all began this year when I was fortunate to have been cast for the rarely cast part of Tinkerbell.

I suppose I fit the stature of a Tinkerbell when I stood next to our 6'4" Peter Pan.

Once again, our director Lori, showed her prowess at casting.

Everyone was perfectly cast; and most were stepping outside of their box for a second time.

Tinkerbell was truly the role of a lifetime for me.

I mean, really, when else do you get a part where you don't need to memorize lines, you have a really cool costume and incredible makeup, you are on stage ALOT with the main squeeze (Peter Pan) and the kids hero worship you at the end of the night?

Lori had faith in me even when I wasn't sure who/what/when/where and why Tinkerbell.

Paranoia set in when some in the cast (you know who you are...teehee....) did not understand a real live Tinkerbell.....how could I possibly live up to the quickness of a laser light beam? Some cast members were probably worried about the skimpiness of my outfit (see Outta Your Box part 2).

I am not sure that I could see the vision either, but if Lori conceived my role of Tinkerbell, I leap-of-faith trusted her vision.

Strangely, and unbelievably, I did not know the story of Peter Pan and Tinkerbell before this parent's play was chosen.

Once Lori announced the cast list, I went about doing my research. I must have logged in a 40+ hour work week watching every version of Peter Pan that I could get my hands on (including our now family classic, HOOK).

After the pixie dust has settled, I realize that the thing that came out of this year's performance is that I now BELIEVE in myself.

Do you believe?

You Gotta Believe....

The title of a song in Peter Pan....Tinkerbell's song.

I wish that I could share this song with you and embed it in this blog, but if you want to hear the song, you'll have to dig a little.....here is the website where it is found....you need to go down the part where it has the “full song”: http://www.peterpanthemusical.com/licence/the-songs.html

Since our Peter Pan (James Dillion) did a MUCH better job than this canned song AND the scene is something that you need to view, I will describe the unfolding scene.

Tinkerbell has theatrically taken the poison out of Peter Pan's hands and drunk it down....saving Mr. Pan from a fate known as death....she falls down and appears dead to Pan.

Musically, the introduction of the song begins in a minor tone....

Peter Pan then asks, "Do You Believe in Fairies?" and the MAGIC begins.....

The audience is pleaded by Peter Pan to show their support by twisting and shouting their belief in fairies.

A major key ensues.

As the audience gets more and more into the song, clapping dancing and shouting, Tinkerbell is re-animated coming back to life!

As the Tinkerbell on the ground, it was one of the most exciting moments I have experienced. It began with small children saying ”I believe”....then clapping....then shouting. ...until finally, I rise and dance in the intense liveliness that they have created!

Impractical?

Yes.

Indisputable?

Yes!

This is symbolic of how much energy can be created by believing in yourself and others believing in you too....no matter how far outside of your box you feel.

I set as my goal to be the bestest little Tinkerbell EVER!

I goal set. I GOAL SET. I goal set.

I mindset. I MINDSET. I mindset.

I believed that I could reach my goal of being the best Tinkerbell ever. I rarely lost sight of that goal. If/when I did lose sight of that goal (really, dancing by myself?), I would reset my belief the next moment, hour or day.

It's funny because I did play the “waif-like” Tinkerbell 2 weeks after another (seems like competing goal) of being the strongest I have ever been by showing my mettle in the lifting arena. How is that possible....

didn't matter.....I trusted that I would get there.

Every week, we rehearsed and I believed.

Lori took me through movements which made me feel uncomfortable.....

examples~my cat like nudge on Peter Pan
my skimpy Tinkerbell outfit
dying on stage and have someone sing a song to me
dancing on stage (grapevine) and doing a cartwheel

However, I trusted the rehearsals and that process de-sensitizing my nerves....and I overcame fear and disbelief....

I did ALL those things....and had a GREAT applause at the end of my journey.

THAT was MAJOR (key) MAGIC for me!

I have had the fortune to be in WWW (Wagon Wheels West), PoO (Phantom of the Opry), OK (Oklahoma), and now PP (Peter Pan). It was destined to be my theatrical exit...(or was it?)

OK, you know that when you have done PP/PoO, it's over for the rest of your career!

Once again, stepping into a discomfort zone has grown me as a person and business owner.

I can't thank those in this production enough.

My absolute thanks to Lori for stepping out on a limb with her vision.

A big thank you to my idolized Peter Pan for never leaving a (wo)man behind....he was the most kind and accepting person to whom I had the fortune to be a sidekick.

Lost boys....you are the BEST...you made it so easy to play off your eccentricities!

Darling boys~I loved your characters~just SO darling!

Wendy~you made it easy.

Miss Kimberly was back again this year with a bravado performance of Liza and a pirate. Newcomer, Amit Shah...THANK YOU for stepping outside of your box!

Believe me, if I can push my own boundaries, you can too.

Here is my 3rd and final revelation about STEPPING OUTSIDE OF YOUR BOX: (***)

SET GOALS and believe that you will achieve them.

Mindset is everything. ...get in the right mindset....

Then.....

GO FOR IT!

Mindset can set you up for failure or success....come on....

I know that you will be FAIRY FAIRY SUCCESSFUL!!!

but, you GOTTA BELIEVE....

I believe in you! (turn on the major music and dance!)


***(if necessary, the next set of writings will be euphemistically named “envelope pushing”....not to be confused with push-me pull you)