A knock echoed through the forest. Knock Knock Knock.
Our Hero lurched to the door to open it....
Two women, one fidgeting, and one man stood there.
One woman spoke~
“Outta my way, old man, I gotta pee”.
Those words helped me develop one of the best relationships of my life. That relationship just keeps giving and giving and has made me feel happiness and contentedness for many many years.
Huh? Huh. Huh!
Those were the first words I uttered to my first (I mean current) husband.
To set the scene a little better, we met at a ski house owned by mutual friends.
My friends and I drove to the Pocono mountains from Virginia one evening after work. We arrived in a very remote “neighborhood” in search of Dave and Dina's house.
Did I mention that it was VERY late and it was a REALLY DARK night.
I was driving and couldn't see any house numbers. We circled around a long while before I finally pulled up to a house that I thought was theirs.
I had to wiz (not the cheese variety) so badly that I told my friends in the car that I was going to knock on THAT door . I was going to tell whoever answered the door that I needed a rest stop.
I knocked.
A stranger answered....not Dave....not Dina. I noticed that he was tall and had graying hair around the temples (not to be confused with a roman iconoclastic temple or Shirley Temple for that matter).
I had no idea if I was even close to their home....I did not care.
“Outta my way, old man, I gotta pee.” THE most important thing to me in that moment was depleting my bladder of too many soft drinks.
What came out of my mouth was truly me and my thoughts. Those thoughts came outta my mouth without filter or concern about what Hero thought.
That Hero was my future husband. That early encounter set the tone for our relationship. I was ME. The entire weekend, I was me. I participated in a frat boy belching contest (which I won. I laughed about completely inappropriate jokes that I told. I did it all. I never changed to be who I thought I should be around this Hero from Ohio.
When you are with people and you are being YOU, it feels natural. It is invigorating. It creates energy. Conversely, when you are in a situation where you have to be the “pretend you”, it feels awful. It is draining.
Who likes going to a formal event to pander to the grand-poo-bahs? Not me... I HATE IT. I hate it so much, that I fall apart inside and get anxious and evil.
Although there is a time and a place for small talk full of civility and boring information, I make these occasions a small slice of my life. I meet people in these scenarios only when it is necessary.
Your friends, spouse, and boss impact a significant portion of your existence. Not being true to yourself, when around people that take up a large part of your life, usually ends in disaster....for YOUR soul.
Be yourself~BE CASUAL~in these situations. Upon meeting a friend, a date or when job interviewing, be authentic.
Pretending to be somebody that you aren't will drain your energy. Upon meeting someone, you are establishing a relationship in which you will always have to be that projected avatar with that person. Trying to maintain that pseudo-self will take you away from your core values and your true Self.
Eventually the energy used to project that false you will drain you. That drain bleeds into most areas of your life and you are generally left unhappy and an empty shell of who you used to be. You will probably be confused in all other areas because you won't even know or remember who "you" are anymore.
Are you really okay living up to the ideals of someone else or their vision of perfection? Can you sustain that? Do you want to sustain that?
I think that it is better to be without “those” friends, spouses and/or bosses that expect you to be someone that you are not.
So, my advice is this: Spare Yourself Unhappiness.
.............by.............
Remembering this important rule: It is none of your business what other people think of you.
Understand that some people will not like you...the real you.
Please believe that it really is okay that you don't float some people's boat. Those people would make you miserable if you allowed them into your LIFE~boat....they'd bring your ship down faster than you can say Titanic.
It is difficult to say whether people like you for being you or like you for not being someone else.
It really doesn't matter the why someone likes you or not or whether they like you or not.
Get in touch with your core values and find friends that share them. Don't sacrifice happiness by being someone you aren't. Those who like YOU for YOU will make you happy.
Always be True to Yourself and your Best Will Follow.
Now, I need to stop typing, 'cause I gotta pee!
